Mental Technique 8: How to Love Yourself
Every day and throughout your day, as you pass by a mirror or anything that creates a reflection, look at yourself directly in the eyes and tell yourself, ''I love you'', followed by your name. Try to feel sincere, unconditional love for yourself. Try not to feel that you are lying to yourself as this may reinforce undesired emotions that already take place within, and are the cause of your lack of self-love.
If this is hard, uncomfortable, or does not feel right, begin by stating, ''Maybe I can love myself,'' as you look at yourself in the mirror. Repeat until you look at yourself and feel that maybe one day you can love yourself. If you are still finding it difficult, then as you look at yourself, say, ''I will try to love myself one day.'' Repeat until you look at self and feel that you will try to love yourself.
And if this still seems demanding, replace the word ''love'' with the word ''like'' until you feel secure and relaxed to address yourself using the word 'Love.' If you find it hard to look directly into your eyes, whether using the word ''love'' or ''like'', look to the corner of the mirror without making eye contact. Do this until you feel ready and safe to create eye contact with yourself.
Once you have discovered the level at which you are comfortable to work, repeat that level until you are willing to move up to the next. For example, if you begin at level 3, continue at that level until you are ready to go up to level 2, then level 1. If you have no difficulty moving directly to level 1, do that.
Level 1: ''I love you'' followed by your name.
Level 2: ''Maybe I can love myself.''
Level 3: ''I will try to love myself one day.''
Level 1: ''I like you'' followed by your name.
Level 2: ''Maybe I can like myself.''
Level 3: ''I will try to like myself one day.''
The aim is to reach the final step which is to take a mirror, look at yourself directly in the eyes, and tell yourself, ''I love you'' followed by your name.
Repeat this exercise until you can see yourself through the eyes of unconditional love.